i hate spotify ads because i listen to playlists in the shower a lot and there is nothing more startling than being completely naked and suddenly hearing lebron james say “i’ll tell you what makes me thirsty”
reading in head: i'm practically a master of linguistics my pronunciations are perfect beyond compare
reading aloud: *chokes on spit*
worst pain imaginable
Look what Danny devito just posted
EPIC LIFE HACK *MUST READ!*
Sometimes i pick the grass from my neighbors yerd and put it in my own so i? the grass greener oh the other side? No anymore
Can I offer you a nice egg in this trying holiday?